“A lot of the time, what allows us to stay ‘functional’ (in scare quotes) as caregivers is this feeling of, I can't look directly at the magnitude of this because it will overwhelm me; it will drag me [down]. I think the only way [out], that I have come to learn — that the feeling is real, but the truth of it is not — is that you just have to come through it so many times to understand that, okay, I've been here before, I've been on the floor, feeling crippling, existential loneliness; I've thought that nobody will ever hold me ever again in my life. And that was then, and this is now. These things change over time.”
- Lucy Bellwood
This episode is part of a Breathing Wind miniseries titled Caregiving Journey, hosted by Breathing Wind founder and host, Sarah Davis.
In this episode, Rachel Mark, Lucy Bellwood and I talk about caregiving. Rachel Mark is a fabrication artist for stop-motion animation and an ADHD/Creative Coach. She took care of her brother, Daniel, who was born with epilepsy and cerebral palsy, and her uncle, Lou, when he was diagnosed with MAL syndrome. Lucy Bellwood is a professional Adventure Cartoonist, writer, and educator. She is taking care of her father, who has moderate stage dementia.
This is part two of a two-part episode. The first part is really about letting go — letting go of perfection to be a better caregiver — letting go of expectations of your loved one — and letting go of future expectations.
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Additional Resources:
You can connect with Rachel Mark online at www.racheldmark.com, and on Instagram @racheldmark.
You can read Lucy Bellwood’s work for free at lucybellwood.com, or find her on social media as @LuBellWoo
You can also support her work directly at patreon.com/lucybellwood
Rachel’s List
“This is a list, I wrote it for both of you, I didn't know you at the time. But almost everyone is gonna face this at some point in their life. And so helping friends be prepared for this thing that is something no one ever trained us for is really important to me.”
- Rachel
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